The movie sucks.
I'm not talking about just the rah-rah America bullshit in it. The patriotism is of the sweet, hokey pre-World War II variety that makes you roll your eyes, not the badass, tough-guy Don't-Mess-with-Texas variety that makes you want to kill somebody. No. I'm talking about story and the structure.
It's not enough to have a good dancer and some good tunes in a movie. There has to be a story. For the last hour and fifteen minutes of Yankee Doodle Dandy, the characters just dance and sit around in rooms agreeing with each other. There is zero conflict. The result is boredom.
My advice to curious viewers, if they can stomach it, is to fast forward to the song and dance numbers and watch one or two of them. The Grand Old Flag number is the best thing in the show, but even that may make you groan in disgust.
Alternately, you could opt not to watch the movie at all.
1 out of 5 Glorious Stars
Friday, July 27, 2007
Review of Ben-Hur
I first saw Ben-Hur three years ago. I was really unimpressed. It seemed very long. The ending seemed weird.
I am pleased to say that this viewing was much different. I think it had a lot to do with expectations. During the opening credits of Ben-Hur, a legend reads, "A Tale of Christ". Yes, this is a Christian movie. If you watch Ben-Hur not understanding this you will be unprepared for the ending, which is miraculous rather than the direct result of Judah Ben-Hur's actions, and it may seem sudden or confusing. Perhaps another reason I disliked the movie the first time I saw it was that I had just watched the Passion of the Christ, which is an awful, bloodthirsty movie. I was feeling very spiritually raw from watching it, and the religious stuff in Ben-Hur rubbed me the wrong way. In any case, I really liked it this time I watched it.
The scope of the movie is huge. The "cast of thousands" gives the viewer the impression that they are watching something really special. The chariot race is really fantastic, and so is a sea-battle between Romans and a pirate fleet. Even Charleton Heston is tolerable in the role of Ben-Hur, giving an especially shiny performance. The soundtrack is cool, and I especially like Jesus' theme. All-in-all, you can sense how much love went into the making of this flick. Everybody involved really wanted it to be something special. And it is.
Is it too long? Maybe. There are many over-long glances and head-hangings while muted violins wallow in misery on the soundtrack. I'd suspect the movie could lose a half-hour if the director had been willing to make the dialogue a bit more snappy.
So if you have an evening to spare and the willingness to make popcorn several times, sit down and watch this one. At the very least, you'll be entertained the first time you see somebody get trampled in the chariot race.
4 out of 5 Stars of David
I am pleased to say that this viewing was much different. I think it had a lot to do with expectations. During the opening credits of Ben-Hur, a legend reads, "A Tale of Christ". Yes, this is a Christian movie. If you watch Ben-Hur not understanding this you will be unprepared for the ending, which is miraculous rather than the direct result of Judah Ben-Hur's actions, and it may seem sudden or confusing. Perhaps another reason I disliked the movie the first time I saw it was that I had just watched the Passion of the Christ, which is an awful, bloodthirsty movie. I was feeling very spiritually raw from watching it, and the religious stuff in Ben-Hur rubbed me the wrong way. In any case, I really liked it this time I watched it.
The scope of the movie is huge. The "cast of thousands" gives the viewer the impression that they are watching something really special. The chariot race is really fantastic, and so is a sea-battle between Romans and a pirate fleet. Even Charleton Heston is tolerable in the role of Ben-Hur, giving an especially shiny performance. The soundtrack is cool, and I especially like Jesus' theme. All-in-all, you can sense how much love went into the making of this flick. Everybody involved really wanted it to be something special. And it is.
Is it too long? Maybe. There are many over-long glances and head-hangings while muted violins wallow in misery on the soundtrack. I'd suspect the movie could lose a half-hour if the director had been willing to make the dialogue a bit more snappy.
So if you have an evening to spare and the willingness to make popcorn several times, sit down and watch this one. At the very least, you'll be entertained the first time you see somebody get trampled in the chariot race.
4 out of 5 Stars of David
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Review of Toy Story
I was a little worried when I fired up Toy Story. I generally find children's entertainment to be vacuous, irritating and often in bad taste. However, as the opening scenes of the movie started up, I began to understand that I was mistaken to apply any kid's movie prejudice to Toy Story. It was clear that this movie was designed not just for the brats, but for me as well. It held my interest right throughout and gave me several belly laughs.
What I find remarkable about Toy Story is how good it looks. This movie is now over ten years old and the animation still looks good. Maybe the Incredibles or talking cars or whatever people are animating these days look better, but my untrained eye can't tell the difference. The toys just look good. And here's another important thing: at no point did my eyes get lost during the action. I find that many computer animators put too many things on screen at once, whether its too much action, too many colours or poor framing I'm not sure. All I know is that I couldn't tell what the hell was going on in the previews for Robots. Toy Story always kept my eyes interested without tiring them out.
The plot is really good. The computer animation is in service to the plot, not the other way around. My one complaint would be that Woody, the main protagonist, pissed me right off. The plot doesn't seem to make him sympathetic at the beginning of the story, so his political macinations against Buzz just seem petty.
The voice acting is great. Tom Hanks gives the weakest performance as Woody, but (and I shudder to praise this man) Tim Allen was fantastic as overly-heroic Buzz. Maybe I still have a soft spot for R. Lee Ermey, but I just love that drill sergeant schtick he does, and his deadpan performance as the army-man sergeant cracked me up.
Anyway, fantastic little movie that I wouldn't mind my theoretical children watching. If you haven't seen it, stop being such a jackass and watch it.
4 out of 5 army-men
What I find remarkable about Toy Story is how good it looks. This movie is now over ten years old and the animation still looks good. Maybe the Incredibles or talking cars or whatever people are animating these days look better, but my untrained eye can't tell the difference. The toys just look good. And here's another important thing: at no point did my eyes get lost during the action. I find that many computer animators put too many things on screen at once, whether its too much action, too many colours or poor framing I'm not sure. All I know is that I couldn't tell what the hell was going on in the previews for Robots. Toy Story always kept my eyes interested without tiring them out.
The plot is really good. The computer animation is in service to the plot, not the other way around. My one complaint would be that Woody, the main protagonist, pissed me right off. The plot doesn't seem to make him sympathetic at the beginning of the story, so his political macinations against Buzz just seem petty.
The voice acting is great. Tom Hanks gives the weakest performance as Woody, but (and I shudder to praise this man) Tim Allen was fantastic as overly-heroic Buzz. Maybe I still have a soft spot for R. Lee Ermey, but I just love that drill sergeant schtick he does, and his deadpan performance as the army-man sergeant cracked me up.
Anyway, fantastic little movie that I wouldn't mind my theoretical children watching. If you haven't seen it, stop being such a jackass and watch it.
4 out of 5 army-men
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